When I first started writing, I often referred to myself as a “mommy blogger.” It was only natural since in 2013 I was knee-deep in mommyhood. The kind where you are never alone and someone always needs something.
But my kids are a little older now. And more self-sufficient. In some ways, anyway. They no longer need me to do every little thing for them. And this is a fun time of being a parent. Watching them grow and evolve. Nothing compares.
I am not just a mom though. And my blog should encompass all of me. I go back and read my early post now and I almost don’t remember that person. Time has a funny way of changing you. Well, time and experience. We should always strive to reinvent ourselves here and there, along the way I suppose. Keeps life exciting.
I love being a mother. I used to wonder if I would. You can’t know for sure until you try something. But I truly believe that it is my most important purpose. I am helping raise four people who have great potential one day. Potential to do wonderful things. Every mother believes that it is possible.
However a personal blog should be just that. Personal. I want to be real, if anything. Some days I feel comical. Some days I feel introspective. Some days I question my own sanity.
I have never been ashamed to say my age. I am proud to be 43. I am not going to lie. Physically, the aging process is tough. I notice the gradual drooping at my jaw line when I look in the mirror. The tiny wrinkles around my eyes. The gray hairs that will no longer be denied.
Things just hurt now in the mornings when I get out of bed. My first few steps of the day, across the bedroom floor are no longer the most graceful. I was recently diagnosed with a stress fracture in my right foot. I have been confined to a medical boot for a couple of weeks now. To add insult to injury the doctor suggested that I begin taking a daily calcium supplement. Funny, I broke my foot in 2007 and no one mentioned my frail bones back then.
The great thing about aging though is how your spirit soars. It really soars. I am not trying to claim that I have it all together. That would be a lie. Some days I am full of self-doubt. Some days I feel unfulfilled or a little off. I worry that I am not living up to my full potential. Could I be happier? Am I doing anything right? Not every day can be bright and shiny. That’s unrealistic.
But some days I feel a lightness of spirit that I just can’t explain. With age you figure out the things that actually matter. You learn not to worry about all of the ridiculous stuff. I look at my face and of course I can see the age. I am not blind. I am close to needing bifocals. But not blind. I don’t stress over it though. Because at 43 believe me, I am not trying to be 23 again.
Lawd have mercy. I would never want to go back there.
Right now in my life I am happy. That is not to say that I don’t have struggles. Or fears. I get angry and frustrated at times. I feel all of those emotions. But with age I have learned that feeling those things, means that you are alive.
These days I make a conscious effort to be a better person. I fail miserably at times. But I try. I make a point to really listen when someone talks. I try to compliment people who look like they could use one. I try to help someone who looks like they could use a hand. In the past I feel like I got caught up in my own struggles and didn’t always recognize the struggles of others.
Now, when someone gives me a compliment, I really stop to absorb it. For anyone who has reached out to me and told me that my writing made you feel anything, or that we shared a common story. That means everything to me. That is exactly why some days when I don’t think that I have anything to say, I open up my laptop anyway, and just start typing. Like today. Because someone needed to read this. And I certainly needed to be heard. I am a needy blogger after all.
Not every post on here can be crafted to blow up on social media. Or to be shared by other websites. Or to be the viewer’s choice for favorite post of all time.
Some posts are simply about human connection. Because with age, you realize that human connections are what life is all about. You should never take anything for granted.
Especially your supple skin and pre-baby bodies. I’m just sayin’.