To live in this house you have to be incredibly tough and just a little bit crazy. So when we were looking for a dog last year, we tried to keep that in mind. We needed a dog who could hang and help keep us all in check. She needed to be able to hold her own and show everyone who was the boss. We found the perfect furry family member in a TWO POUND Yorkie named Princess Leni Kravitz (yes, she is in fact named after him).
I have recently realized what an insane choice it was for us to get such a tiny dog. How is she even still alive with this bunch? There is only one answer for that: She is AWESOME. I watch her as she trots around here everyday. I try to look at the world through her eyes. What is it like to be a tiny dog in this house? It cannot be easy.
Princess Leni Kravitz:
1. There is always someone trying to hold me. Some tighter than others
2. Two times a week I am thrown into a HUGE sink, soaped up and rinsed off. Then I am combed and dried. All for the sake of looking pretty. I don’t see the lab getting thrown into that sink.
3. Someone takes my hair, brushes and pulls it until it is secured into an over-sized bow on top of my head. If I am lucky, there is enough space left between the top and bottom eyelids for me to still see, in order to walk around.
4. People always talk to me in baby talk. ALL.THE.TIME. Trying to sleep? baby talk. Trying to eat? baby talk. Don’t these people know that high-pitched baby talk makes me go tinkle?
5. People make me wear clothes. Seriously though. I poop in the grass. Like an ANIMAL is supposed to. Why are you putting dresses on me?
6. I am only about two inches from the floor when I walk around. It is cold down here on the hardwoods. Since I am too little to jump on a chair or the couch, I have to look for empty shoes or dirty laundry to sit on. This lady never allows people to leave shoes or dirty laundry lying around. My bum is frosty all the time.
7. When I go outside to play, I am not actually allowed to PLAY with anything. All dogs that walk past my house are too large. Any cat could kick my butt and most birds could carry me away. So it is just me and that woman who is walking two steps behind me, at all times.
8. Every time I am taken out in public it causes a scene. Grown men are reduced to baby talking idiots when they see me. Women don’t even stand a chance. People squeal and shriek and go on as though they have never seen a dog before. Again people, this makes me go tinkle.
9. Little people in this house often fight over who is going to hold me. Literally. I have seen fists flying. If you need me I will be under the bed.
10. Vacuums terrify me. I am pretty sure I could get sucked right up in there. This lady loves to vacuum. If you need me I will be under the bed. I seem to be under the bed a lot. Ohhh I love mops though. Bring a mop out and I consider myself challenged to a duel. Score.
11. People eat all around me yet no one gives me anything. Evidently a two-pound dog should not eat table scraps. So I stand under the table and bark. and bark. and bark. Yet I have lungs the size of grapes so no one can hear me for all the noise at the table. Did I mention this house is loud?
12. This house is loud.
13. I ride with the family in a car, everywhere they go. Do you know how many times I have slid off of those leather seats? And they are always either too hot or too cold. Do I look like I can reach those seat warmer/cooler buttons on the door? Hey Lady, if you turn yours on, turn mine on, too.
14. I get stepped on. I try to stay out of the way but there are a lot of feet in this house to watch for. Most of the time they are coming for me. It is not easy to be tiny.
15. I have paparazzi following me around. Everyone in this house has a tablet, with a camera. They are always wanting me to pose for pictures. They tell me to smile. Dogs don’t smile. Well some dogs do but they are creepy.
I am pretty sure these things run through P. Leni’s mind several times a day. If dogs can think, that is. It has to be hard to live here in all this craziness. All four of my children, and every person who sees her adores her though.
She actually has the perfect attitude for this family. She is fearless and feisty. If the kids are not up from the bed fast enough, after I call for them in the mornings, P. Leni is on the job. Maybe she can’t jump on their beds and lick their faces but she can bark. over and over and over without ceasing.
The kids aren’t tired enough to go to bed? Well, P. Leni will provoke them into a game of catch me if you can and I will say it is easier to catch a chicken than a 2 pound fur ball. No one has caught her yet when she is in play mode.
Leave your toys lying around on the floor for too long and they become P. Leni’s toys. She even sneaks into Monster High to see what is going down, after my daughter falls asleep.
Leni is a part of this family now and I think we made the perfect choice. She is single handedly whipping this family into shape. Shout out to Princess Leni Kravitz!