A List Of Rules For Attending My Sons Field Trip (His Rules)

It looks like I am going on my very first field trip as a parent. On previous trips I have not been able to attend because I still had a little one (or little ones) at home.

However this time when I pulled the note from my oldest son’s backpack, I checked the date and it was a day that the baby would be in preschool. I announced that Mama was going on a field trip.

Before my son even had time to process the good news, my daughter exploded into a fit of drama. She told me that I had never, ever been on ANY of her field trips. Ever. She followed that with how she had always suspected that I loved the boys better. AND that it was extra unfair because I was also HIS room mom this year. And that I had only been her room mom once in her whole life.

(She is NINE.)

I stared at her bewildered. I had never been her room mom. She made that up in her head. A coping mechanism I guess. To make up for my being a HORRIBLE mother I suppose.

When she was quite finished, I pointed out that hopefully her first field trip would be on a day that I could go with her as well. Then I said “How about I make you a purple cake?”

She smiled, hugged me and skipped away.

You see the good thing about having a dramatic child is that the drama builds fast, burns hot and then simply…..burns out. However, there went five minutes of my life that I would never get back.

I looked at my son who evidently had been sitting there thinking since the words first left my lips. I asked him what he thought about me going with him. He said it would probably be okay but he needed to give a list of rules.

Rules? Oh I am a rule follower. Throw them at me.

And then he started rattling them off one by one. He even suggested that I write them down. (Thank goodness that I did).

1. No shorts. Or dresses. Or bright-colored pants. (Which is everything that I wear.)

2. Bring a large purse. In case he needs me to carry all his junk.

3. No hugging or kissing when people are looking. Or even in they are in the same room.

4. I am only allowed to talk to him and other adults. Absolutely no children. Especially his friends.

5. No bad breath. Have gum on hand. (I mean I do enjoy the occasional onion but I didn’t know that I needed an intervention or anything.)

6. Pack two large, yummy lunches. One for him and one for me. Carry both in my large purse.

7. Absolutely no jokes. (I guess he has a problem with hilarious people?)

8. No dogs. Or cats. (We don’t even have a cat. Like I am going to buy one just to torture him?)

9. No slow poking. Move around the venue at a reasonable pace. (He actually said venue.)

10. No nerdy glasses. (My glasses are Juice Couture. And green. He obviously needs a fashion lesson)

11. Shower. And fix hair. And brush hair. No hats.(Shouldn’t that have come first? Now it is too late. I already have my hat picked out.)

12. Only Chapstick or lip gloss. Absolutely no lip stick. I cannot leave any lip prints on his cheek when I kiss him. And more importantly please refer to number 3.

13. Don’t over-pluck my eyebrows. (Wait….what?)

14. Absolutely no singing. None. Not even once. Or humming. And NO dancing.

15. Don’t get braces.

That’s it. That was my list. I am pretty sure I can stay within those parameters. I mean the singing is going to be tough. And I am absolutely going to talk to his little friends. And kiss him. That is just part of the fun of being a parent. Making your kid sweat a little is our right. We earned it. The things my mother used to do to me.

I told him I thought those sounded like good rules. Then I saw a smile on his face. My little tough guy was actually excited that his mom was going to be accompanying him at a school function.

When you have kids, each one is an individual. As a parent our job is to respect who they are as a person because they are certainly born with their own personality. Then you learn how to better parent each one based on what works best for him/her.

If my son needs to present me with a list of rules then that must be important to him. He is the more reserved of the group. I can respect him telling me what makes him feel more comfortable.

If my daughter needs to vent a little to feel like she has been heard…………

Then I say let her eat cake.

Feeling my way though parenthood one child/field trip/meltdown/list of rules at a time.

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