Moms Have To Go To The Dentist Too. Even This Mom

Look at these pearly whites. What’s the odds they will last me a lifetime?

There is a lot to raising kids. Something always requires my attention. So much so that I often put myself on the back burner.

I’m sure a lot of other mothers do as well. We pride ourselves on being the best mothers that we can. Then we neglect to take care of Mom. Who will be around to take care of the kids, if not Mom and Dad?

I have tried to change my thinking and make this a priority. I make my appointments, weeks in advance. Then I get all smug. Quite proud of my achievement of actually making the appointment.

Then one day the reminder call comes and I am caught off guard. I had completely forgotten about my (insert doctor here) appointment. Maybe I should change it?

I keep the darn appointment though. Most of the time anyway. Unless I reschedule it. But I absolutely go to the rescheduled one. Mostly.

Next week I have a gynecologist appointment. Who doesn’t love those stirrups (No one)? The baby maker may be closed for business but I still have to monitor the situation down there.

If you are due a pap, make the appointment. Just do it.

When I go next week, she will schedule my yearly mammogram as well. Forty is when we get serious about knowing what is happening in our bodies.

If you are due a mammogram, make the appointment. Right now. The blog will still be here when you get back. It is that important.

As if that wasn’t enough, yesterday the eye doctor called to remind me that I am due an eye exam. I know the eye doctor seems harmless but I am forty. I live in fear that she is going to utter the “B” word. Bifocals. I’m still going though.

Make the appointment. You will look cute in bifocals.

So what does that leave? The dentist. That one can be checked of my list. I had my teeth cleaned a couple of weeks ago.

If you haven’t been to the dentist in a while, make the appointment. Oh and you should probably stop reading this post right now.

I HATE THE DENTIST.

Not the actual dentist. Just the idea of her. I have spent many hours in that chair. I had cavities as a child. Evidentially in the 70s we didn’t know that the teeth actually had to be brushed twice, every day.

My first visit to the dentist I was 11. And I had six cavities. I had to get fillings.

The thing about fillings is that they don’t last a lifetime. So eventually you get into the crown phase. This is where they drill down your tooth and cover it with a tooth-look-alike. These happened in my thirties. I had a total of four teeth crowned. Crowns are fun. Yippee.

I still have two silver fillings in my mouth. I like to show them to my kids and explain about the horrific shots, the drilling, the smell and that numbness where you can’t move your face. I am not above fear tactics. Just go brush you freaking teeth already.

With all of that behind me, I had a pretty good streak going. Until last month.

I took my place in the dental hygienist’s chair. She began with X Rays. She took her little plastic squares and jabbed them into my gums. Then she asked me to hold perfectly still while she walked over to push the button that would snap the picture.

Except the five seconds that it actually took to push the button and get back to me to remove the slide, seemed like hours. I was desperately trying to concentrate on breathing through my nose and not gagging. Nobody wants to be that guy who keeps jerking the plastic squares out of your mouth before the picture is snapped. Don’t ask me how I know this.

Next we moved to the scraping cleaning. While true that it doesn’t hurt when your tooth enamel is scraped, it would definitely hurt if your gums were. I am always afraid this will happen to me.

I sat very still hoping to get it over with quickly. Then it happened. While doing the backside of my front teeth, she made all of my irrational fears, rational.

You know that little piece of gum that hangs a wee bit lower than the rest, right between your two front teeth? Well she stabbed mine. I grabbed her hands and threw them out of my mouth.

You say dramatic. I saw self-preservation.

It was a knee jerk reaction. There was something about BLOOD POURING FROM MY MOUTH that made me panic. I just wanted us to be clear. It hurt. A lot.

She apologized profusely as she reached for a cream which she said would make it better. She applied a tiny drop with a cotton swab and just like that, the pain was gone.

I didn’t stop to consider why the cream had made my gum stop hurting upon contact until after I had already ran my tongue across the injured spot. And then I figured it out. It was numbing cream. and NOW my tongue was numb.

She finished up and I waited for the dentist to come make her final inspection. After that I would be able to put this visit behind me. For six months anyway.

After the dentist scanned my mouth with her mirrors and light she told me that I had done an excellent job at brushing and flossing.

Everything looked amazing. EXCEPT……for that tiny cavity right THERE.

After almost thirty years I had a cavity? She was obviously mistaken.

I was still trying to figure out just how this had happened when she stood up and shook my hand. They would give me an estimate for my cost (whatever insurance would not cover). I could go ahead and make my appointment at the front desk. And she was gone.

A cavity. A filling. Hey why don’t we save ourselves the song and dance and go STRAIGHT FOR THE CROWN?

As I drove home I realized it was bound to happen. I had a good cavity-free run. Nothing lasts forever.

Then I got home and saw the estimate email from the dentist office. How much? My first-born wasn’t worth that much!

In that moment I wished to be 11 again. So my mommy could hug me. And pay my dental bill. Cause that is what hurts most of all.

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