You Want To Move? As In, Take The Kids With Us?

This is the house that we lived in before our current home. We only had two kids at the time. We were still “normal”. In 2007 we told this house goodbye.

We have lived in our current home for six years now. It is the only home that two of my children have ever known. Having four kids, it is important that a home have two things: space and multiple bathrooms. We have both. That is why I was caught off guard one day when my husband blurted out:

You know what we should do? We should move.

The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. Did he not remember the last time? He actually wants to do that again? We have two more kids now and kids have a lot of stuff. Their stuff has to be moved along with them.

Although the prospect of a change of scenery was exciting, I couldn’t help but dwell on the massive undertaking that it would be to move this huge family. By the look on his face though, there was no talking him down from this one. He had made up his mind.

So I let my mind go there. What would it be like to actually pack up everything and relocate? How could the kids be involved in the process? Who am I kidding, how could the process move forward in spite of them? First things first, we would have to sell this house.

We would have to fix all of the damage that the kids have done to the house, only to move and let them wreak havoc on a different house. Isn’t that close to the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing yet expecting different results? Okay so that would require paint, paint and more paint. Sheet rock patching…..and a little more paint. That is not too bad. As long as I am not having to do it, anyway.

Once all of the repairs were completed we would have to keep the entire house scuff free. Which basically means the kids would need to live somewhere else for a few weeks. Or maybe I could just bubble wrap everything in the house. OR MAYBE I could just bubble wrap the kids.

In order to sell a house it has to stay in show room condition at all times.
You must be prepared to have the house shown at a moments notice. What does this require when you have kids?

1. Make the beds daily. Usually twice daily after they destroy them mid day, for no good reason
2. Polish all stainless steel appliances whenever a tiny fingerprint is detected. Who am I kidding, I might as well stand there all day with a rag and polish.
3. Vacuum, sweep and mop after every meal. And snack. And maybe even in between.
4. Clean all glass surfaces and mirrors hourly
5. Keep the bathrooms spotless and the faucets Windexed.
6. Spot check furniture, walls and hard surfaces for boogers every time a
kid walks by anything

Wait a minute……uhhhh hello? That’s called being OCD. I actually live my life that way. People make fun of me for my level of tidiness. Okay so that is manageable.

The next hurdle would be preparing for showings. Sometimes at a moments notice. No one likes to look at a house with the owners standing there watching. Or with four kids chasing them from room to room. I could pull this off. I will just tell the kids that we are going to the pool. Not that we will actually be going to the pool but this is the one phrase I can utter that gets all four kids moving. It would take a while before they caught on to my trickery. I mean, what if this is THE time when I was ACTUALLY going to take you to the pool? Do you really want to risk trying to call my bluff?

That seems like something I could live through. Maybe. Now what if the house actually sells? What if it sells quickly? What if I am unprepared? What if we haven’t found our next home yet? What if we have to move into……gulp…..an apartment? What if it is winter time and we are trapped like rats in an apartment? I know people who have done this. They survived but they didn’t have four kids. Surely I will be in the corner waving my white flag as they run amuck, calling the shots. Okay don’t think about that. Let’s focus on the actual move.

Last time I moved a home I had a toddler and a baby. Best I remember little kids love moving. They love to unpack all of the boxes that you are packing and break things that you have not yet secured.

This was my son “helping” me pack (unpack) last time we moved.

My kids are a little older now. Now my biggest problem would probably be them sitting around telling me how bored they were. Or telling me that I wasn’t packing something the proper way. Or asking me where every single toy that had been packed away was located. Surely I could find ways for them to help. I will have to think on what kids can actually accomplish, while wearing bubble wrap.

Oh my goodness. This is actually happening. We are actually going to sell our house! Do you realize how lucky YOU, my readers are? Do you know how many blog posts are going to come from this? This opens up a whole new avenue of humor. The humor that has become my life.

I often say that I developed my sense of humor as a coping mechanism. If you are a stay at home mother to four kids, then you have two choices: the asylum or learn to laugh at yourself. Now I try to see everything that goes on around me through humor colored glasses. You just spilled an entire gallon of milk? That is HILARIOUS! You pooped BESIDE the toilet? You are splitting my sides! These are the events of my life. Why should you not laugh with me?

Hold on to your hats people. Bell On Heels is relocating! This outta be a hoot 🙂

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